Single and Santa

Don’t forget the Christ in Christmas. Saying Happy Holidays is PC at work and school. Why don’t more Black people celebrate Kwanzaa? How the hell do you spell Hanukkah (I’ve seen a C in there at one point).

Our holidays are riddled with tradition, folklore, and colorful characters that fuel a child’s imagination. It leaves our young ones with memories and stories they use to connect with future classmates, roomies, and significant others.

But the third biggest star of the holiday (a virgin who had a super baby definitely tops a beard) is that silver fox, big-boned rosy cheek man whose jolly ol’ belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly. You can’t talk about Xmas without talking about Santa Claus. Whether you pray to Buddha, Allah, Zeus, Krishna, God, or the stars you’ve heard of this fat cat who can defy all physical logic.

We use St. Nick as a tool to encourage our kids to be good between the months of leftovers running out and the tree getting put up. Parents who choose to let their kids believe go to great lengths in maintaining the legend of Santa. They keep purchased presents hidden, shop during their work breaks, wrap gifts in the dead of night, and sacrifice closet space in order to hide said gifts until the night before Christmas, when all through the house, none of their kids are stirring…(see what I did there).

But others take a more direct approach from the gate.

“I am Santa” is the strong declaration in some households. Hardworking parents who may sacrifice more than their fair share of adult time and hard earned money refuse to give Big Red any holiday credit. They may not flat out tell their doe-eyed six year old who’s been exchanging Santa theories with their peers all day that this man and his red nose reindeer is just not real; but they assure them that those bowed-up, meticulously wrapped stack of boxes under the pine (real, plastic, or white) comes from yours truly, Mom and Dad. They duck the gaze of their kids, they shop on their “me” time, they wrap in secrecy and attempt to make this holiday just as magical for their kids as well. But they make sure junior knows these gifts are earned across the board. You earn them through good behavior while mommy and daddy earn the money to buy what you’ve earned. Forget the fat man’s list, your name is on our heart.

Does Santa Claus exist in your household? Why/why not?

Does Santa steal the shine/hard work of single parents?

Is it wrong to tell a small child there is no Santa Claus?

Is saying there is no Santa simply keeping it real, or a ploy to have all the credit or glory?


This Is NOT An Attack On Momma Bey


And I know this disclaimer won’t be enough for some of the Beyhive, but I need you to know, her IMAGE, her immediate look was simply the catalyst for this. NOT her personality, NOT her personal morals and values, NOT her assumed motherhood and/or womanhood.

I saw, I thought, I wrote. So let us begin.

The 2016 VMAs had a lot of ups and downs for us 80s babies. We saw too many people we don’t know, and we saw too many people we know cater to the demographic we kind of know. But what do we know?! Are we not doing the same thing our parents did when Juvenile took over for the nine-nine and the 2000 (you assumed the twerking stance, didn’t you?!)

But like many of all ages, I was holding out for a diva and a queen. And neither of them let me down. Beyonce took the stage in all of her glory. She brought a world tour caliber performance to basic cable (you remember the black box days).


And I LOVED that. But what caught my attention was who was with her on the red carpet and the correlation of her performance.

Beyonce Knowles rolled in with Blue Ivy, both of them decked out in couture. When the lights went down and the smoked cleared, I was giddy with anticipation. Beyonce, beyonced all over that stage. Pyro, dancers, lights, using the entire space, it was a marvel! But then I saw something peculiar.

For more than 30 seconds, Beyonce used the camera to do this…


I’m not saying this woman has not always embraced her sexuality, but the most we’ve seen her expose is this…


After all was sung and done, I wondered, Wasn’t her daughter at the show? Was she watching this in the green room?

Yes, Beyonce is a performer. Yes, this was just a performance. Yes, it’s about costume and props. Yes, raunchier has been seen and done. And yes, Blue Ivy was probably whisked away with the nanny after paparazzi had their fill. But Beyonce sheds more as she gets older (which is usually hand and hand with wiser and maturer)? If not Blue, one of her friends can look up the Queen and say, “Hey, I know what your mom’s cheeks look like.”

My question; where does the buck stop? I am all for women, no matter what’s added to their title, being able to express who they are. But in the age of accessibility, most of us are in agreement for shielding our children from inappropriate content before they can comprehend it. So why throw ass cheeks in the camera that your daughter can see with a click of the mouse? And again, this is on the assumption that Blue Ivy could have been there watching this as opposed to an exclusive tour show where she would be no where near.

If your daughter wants to do the same at an too-early age, how are you going to combat that?

A mother can be sexy, but is there such a thing as being too sexy once you’re a mom? Does motherhood equal conservative/restriction? Does celebrity give a new definition to motherhood? Has social media affected the image of motherhood? At the end of the day, HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO VIEW YOU AS A MOM and what will you do to ensure that?