Just My Two Cents

Jane Smith, PSFM #7 asks

Views on abortion; do you think it is okay in any or certain circumstances (ex: rape or incest or extreme physical harm/danger to a mother)? Why do you think this? 

First and foremost, I have always taken the stance of, it’s a woman’s body; she chooses what she wants to do with it.

I love the Lord. I believe in God, I believe in life. But there are unforeseen circumstances. Who am I to tell a rape victim that she HAS to have this baby because it’s a LIFE she did not agree to conceive? Who am I to tell a woman, no matter how promiscuous she may be, she HAS to have this child, even if she is not financially, emotionally, nor mentally stable enough to nurture a completely dependent human being? Why would I tell another human being that they are OBLIGATED to prematurely sacrifice their body and complicate their health because it’s the “proper” or “righteous” thing to do.

We are taught from day 1 that there are consequences to our actions. And then we learn that some actions against us are out of our control (including condoms popping). But I truly believe one of our greatest gifts is choice! Choose what’s right for you! The minute we force or guilt anyone into a decision, we are creating a hostile environment, which in the case of raising children, will only begin or perpetuate a dangerous cycle.

Why not adoption though? One can still birth the baby but not have to raise it?

True indeed. But I would encourage that only if the woman is willing to go through the 9 months of pregnancy. Some women may not be ready to see their bodies drastically change. Some may not be ready for the hormonal swings that come with it. Some may not be able afford the medical expenses of the check ups. I’ve also heard that some women get attached to the baby after a while, decide to keep it based off of emotions, and then regret it later.
But if they can mentally, physically, and financially carry the baby, I would encourage adoption.

It Takes A Village

My sister’s father (God rest his soul) told me a long time ago that he has eyes everywhere and people know who I am in relation to him. I shrugged it off. Surely enough, days later, he was able to tell me what park I was in, around what time, and which direction I went when I left. TRUE STORY.

I don’t just hold young, naive, ignorant parents accountable; I don’t just put the weight on the single parent who refuses to mature and realize the gravity of raising a child;

but it’s on the family as well. I watch the young, dumb uncle around the children and the discovered independence of the young aunt. I understand, it was your sibling’s choice to have a child and you do not have DIRECT responsibility for them. But if you have to/ choose to be around them, you need to watch your actions. A child between the ages of 3 and 9 should not

  • know the words to IDFWU
  • know how to use the N word
  • should not know how to gyrate a damn thing
  • scream Worldstar when anything ratchet happens
  • should not be aware of what ratchet happenings are
  • should not be able to curse around you, but not AT you,

and the list goes on.

I know it is common for children to grow up in imperfect households, but it is common sense not to bring adult habits around young children. If Big Sis needs you to watch Jr. while she is out providing, your weed head friends cannot come over that day. Aunt J shouldn’t be watching fight videos or twerk tutorials with Little Missy in her lap while Dad is doing a double. It’s all cute and viral until you have an open ACS/CPS case because your child’s teacher has been cursed at all week and all you can do is say, “I know. He does the same thing at home. That’s just him.” No. It’s just YOU, doing just enough, to just get by.

Poverty, absent parents, lack of resources; these are just some of the things that cause some of our youth to grow up too fast. But filters are not just for coffee and Instagram. Teaching starts in the home. We need to teach our children age appropriate behavior so they know when to avoid something that will mar their character before they have the chance to create it themselves. We can’t protect them from the world, but we can still put a shield in their hand. And every person of influence in the child’s life should be on the same page on how that child is to be raised.

If I hear your 2nd grader talking about popping bottles, or popping off on someone, I just might pop them in their mouth. We need children to be children for as long as possible. And it still takes a village to raise a child.