Pregnancy Scare #2; Fearless Mom: Saray

Name: Saray Garcia

Age: 19

Graduated high school: June 2012

Number of children: 1

Pregnancy Scare: October 2010

The Uh-Oh Moment: Back in 2009, Sept 22nd to be exact, I started dating a young man named Carlos. As a young teen I yearned for the attention and love I lacked. We dated for a little over a year and I got pregnant in October of 2010. I did not find out I was pregnant until December. This was the beginning of what I thought was the end of my life.

Having unprotected sex and not thinking of the consequences was my biggest mistake. I had pains and constantly had to urinate. I went to see my doctor sometime in November, had a blood and urine test to check for STD’s and pregnancy. When the results came in, they were all negative so my doctor thought it was kidney stones. I started having morning sickness and the pain grew stronger. I felt too sick to go to school. I was sent to get a sonogram in December.

The Mom Moment: The doctor stared at me for quite awhile and looked back and forth at the screen. She asked “Did you know you were pregnant?” The rush of emotions couldn’t be explained. I replied “Excuse me?” and she showed me the screen. I saw a baby. I could not believe what I was seeing. I fell in love at first sight with the child inside me.

                  ***Any man can be a father. It takes a real man to be a dad.***

Father/Dad: He didn’t know what a dad was. He was always too clumsy and I just could not trust him. As she grew he came to see her whenever he wanted, but the big problem was who he actually came to see. He wouldn’t pay mind to his daughter but would use his time to beg for me back. I couldn’t give him another chance; I wasn’t in love. Maybe I would have fallen in love if only he would’ve been a DAD and not just a Father. His idea of a dad was taking pictures with her.

At this point in my relationship, Carlos and I wasn’t working out. I realized I didn’t “love” him and I simply just did not care. Being pregnant was the worst possible scenario.

How far did the apple fall from the tree? My parents raised me in an utterly different way. Due to their religious beliefs I was kept  away from the rest of the world and wasn’t able to develop to my full potential. I respect their beliefs but I am not letting anything hold me back from helping Julia’s mind develop to its full potential.

Meet Julia. Julia is now two and a half, already colors inside the lines, remembers names, counts to 13, and so much more. Her problem solving skills are that of a four year old. Her mind is ahead of normal and I am helping her continue developing it.

Them vs. You: My parents helped me out from day one. Carlos was there but not there.

When I walked out the room I see my parents and don’t know what to say but my face said it all. I finally blurted “I am PREGNANT!” Both my parents looked at each other but the only one to speak was my father who said “Let’s go feed you and that baby. Both of you must be starving.” Not another word was spoken that day.

I called Carlos to tell him the news and he didn’t know how to respond. He asked me whether I was going to keep it or not. I did not know how to reply. I was born in a Christian home where it was drilled in my head that abortion is a sin and you are killing a baby who did not ask to come into this world. But I was sixteen and PREGNANT. That same week I decided to keep the child and attempt to fix my relationship with Carlos. But on January 29th 2011 I found out he cheated on me with a girl we both knew. This crushed my dream of having a happy family. Like I said before, I didn’t love him but I loved the idea of our child having a mommy and daddy. I broke up with him. Not only was I pregnant but it was a week before my birthday. I felt disrespected! We attempted to work things out for the sake of this child but I felt disgusted and ashamed of him. So for the rest of my pregnancy I spent it depressed and in some kind of way alone.

Fearful moment: The hardest moment of being a parent was and still is dealing with the person I had her with. I’ve always given him the right to visit her as many times a week as he wants and for as many hours. He was always fine with doing so. But when he found out I was dating, he flipped and took me to court. He is asking for joint custody. There is no way in hell, I would let that happen. He now gets to take her once a week for 6 hours. I will continue to fight for full custody. I have my reasons in which are huge and I rather not say. I want him to have a relationship with his daughter and that is why I asked the court to send him to parenting classes.

Fearless moment: From the first steps to her first words, my favorite part was her first word. “Mama” was the first word spoken out of Julia’s mouth. That word impacted me and moved my heart. To feel acknowledged by the person you completely ADORE!!! When I am down she lifts me back up. The moment she speaks, the way I feel changes.

Support system: The greatest support I’ve had since day one was my BEST FRIEND WENDY. I love this girl as if we were blood related. All, and I mean ALL of my “friends”, left me after knowing I got pregnant. I wasn’t able to party or do anything anyone thought was fun, so I was no fun. Wendy on the other hand was there every second. She would come visit me and Julia. If I wanted to go somewhere, talk, or just needed company she was there. Not once did she look at me differently for becoming a parent. She continues to support me in all I do and I owe her for her loyalty.

Final thoughts: Children grow up so quick and Julia grew up faster than I could’ve imagined. Your child is the reflection of yourself so be careful. Take care guys.